I fear I have lost the ability to express myself with both clarity and sentiment and it terrifies me, because without it I don’t know who I am.
I feel the statement below profoundly, too often, and to my core and yet I am unable to articulate it with any of the grace, clarity or poetry kay kay has managed. I have always known that she is an outstanding visual artist, I did not know she was a wordsmith too (it seems she tries rather hard to hide it)

i get moments when my everything is overshadowed with deep emotion. there is no real problem, which makes everything a problem. because all i do is stay still to feel. every dismissed speckle of feeling fights its way to the foreground momentarily paralyzing my ability to feel just that little bit sane. trickled tears with no purpose other then to sour my face.

I’m nothing that I’m not and yet not wholly all that I am

(via heyimkayk)

Without you

I’d rather a hug,
I’d rather be held, and kept safe
I want to be saved and wrapped up in cotton wool and put on a pedal stool. In short, I want to be needed not just desired, I want to be cradled and inspired. I want you to resurrect me once my souls retired. noli me tangere, but touch me, explore me, know me, claim me, you own me.
However never invade, rape or pillage me.
I wish that you’d keep me, think me precious and heed me.
I want you to trace your fingers across my heart and hope that the end will never start, marry my essence and keep me in your presence. Allow me to feed you, bleed for you, weep for you and scream for you because I am not on lease to you, you own me.
I wish to be indebted to you.
I give you my entirety so that we can make mini yous
And mes, that sleep on chests and waddle in nappies and vests
and because without you and them I am less, incomplete, insufficient and insecure.
You bring me to my best, take me to my purpose and fulfil my quest.
Without you I am less, less than perfect, less than apt, less than faultless.
Without you I am flawed, faulted and faithless.

Sun kiss

its good when the sun touches
bare brown.
its gentle caress on dark flesh both soothing and exciting
as it warms my day
makes me happy
the rays stroke and fondle me
like no person can
and it smiles as i giggle under its touch.
I look around and see how the sun.
allows the trees to put a green tint
on its light
and the sea to reflect it
just as it allows me to absorb it
and I realize
that this is
not
a monogamous relationship.
it seems that I will have to learn to share.

Home
I grew up in a Victorian or Georgian button factory split into flats by Islington council and I’ve always loved it, its too small for me and my mum but I love it despite that and the lac of original features it still manages to give off a lovely sense of history. Since the age of 16 I have lived in a number of period properties split into flats one on the corner of Amhurst Road in Hackney right next to hackney central train station, the trains shook the house and I loved it. Until recently I lived in a property on New Cross Road with crack’eads running around and screaming outside at night, however it had benefitted from being modernised unlike the house of my childhood the rooms were large the hallway wide and it came with an amazing roof terrace I could of lived there for a while, but now its gone and I have my sight set on building the most beautiful Georgian property but not in the uk somewhere lovely and hot, and that requires adaptations, adaptations that are demonstrated to the highest and most effective degree by the HATION GINGERBREAD HOUSE.
(I take no credit for these pictures I’m just using them to make a point please don’t sue me)

(via eldondelosmuertos-area-m33)

I cant stand the rain.

soon I will cry black and the rain, the world, entirety will stop.

I’m in love with you

Two men handcuffed together dressed as bananas. say no more

We found two used condoms by the front door, where were you having sex that you couldn’t be seen but the most convenient place to get rid of the evidence was by the front door. Act like normal people and fuck in the toilets

when I was a little girl Lauryn was my hero now she just weirds me out

(via earth-girls-are-easy-deactivate)

I had a very interesting shift at work today, two guys came in with breast shaped and iced cup cakes from cox, cookies and cakes. I got hit on by a woman, who also walked up to a group of very young west London looking girls, (you know all hair and short dresses and heals on a Tuesday night probably very bright but act like they have nothing up top) and slurred “as a dare can I take you over to my friends and kiss you on the mouth” and then looked very surprised when they looked confused and disgusted and said no. I also spoke to a very interesting add man, but not a mad man ‘cos he works in London but enlightening all the same.